Thanksgiving is this Thursday, so in honor of the day of turkey, this week’s Listeria is #TurkeyBands. No, we’re not talking about the metal bracelets used to identify birds in the wild, we’re talking about turkefying your favorite bands. For instance:
The Canned Cranberries
To play, post your own on Twitter to @pasquinade with the hashtag #TurkeyBands, comment on the post on our Facebook page, or comment here. I encourage you, as well, to share this post freely. The more folks playing the game, the more fun everyone has reading them. Then, just kick back, undo your belt, and let the tryptophan distribute itself throughout your circulatory system.
Week #4: Mock the Terrorists
Week #3: Things to Do With Your Extra Daylight Savings Hour
Week #2: Rejected Old Wives’ Tales
Week #1: New Fears That a 2017-20 Republican Presidency Would Bring
In light of the last week’s events in Paris, we must #MockTheTerrorists (see the previous post). This can include riddles, funny limericks or haikus, one-liners, anything that allows us to retain a sense of humor through the ever-growing tragedies that are becoming all too commonplace. For example:
Q: How many terrorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: What’s the point? They don’t have electricity in the cave.
To play, post your own on Twitter to @pasquinade with the hashtag #MockTheTerrorists, comment on the post on our Facebook page, or comment here. I encourage you, as well, to share this post freely. The more folks playing the game, the more fun everyone has reading them. Then, just kick back and avoid any public places for a couple months.
In the days, weeks, months, and years following the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, I felt like my sense of all that is funny was violently stripped from my soul. This feeling persisted for a very long time, but slowly it subsided and, gradually, I healed.
Terrorist groups like ISIS and Al Qaida have since made many smaller, but no less tragic, attacks commonplace around the world. Including the recent attacks in France on Charlie Hebdo and the tragedy of November 13. We live in a world now where these mass killings are a weekly, if not daily, news story. And throughout it all, more than ever, we need to retain our sense of humor.
We’ve tried bombing these cowards, even succeeding in killing a few in the process, but maybe we need another tactic. Let’s mock the bastards! Come on, internet! Do what you do best: bully the terrorists until they run home crying to their mommies! Then bully their mommies for raising such weak children!
Through it all, National Pasquinade is with you, Paris, and the World (as are the beings of a small undiscovered planet of surprisingly-strong mantis-like creatures who “Like” and “Favorite” everything they can on social media, whether or not they really like it).
Postscript: Since posting this earlier, I’ve come across another blogger’s more serious words on this subject. You can check out Serial Word Abuser‘s post at https://serialwordabuser.wordpress.com/2015/11/14/a-brief-word/.