Listeria #20: Surprises in the Newly-Released JFK Files



On October 26th, the government will release previously-classified documents regarding the investigation of the assassination of John F. Kennedy. The National Pasquinade and, by extension, its readers, are not above speculation. We all wondered what surprises might be revealed this week.

Surprises in the Newly-Released JFK Files

  • The knoll was more weedy than it was grassy.
  • The assassination was sponsored, in part, by Texas Instruments.
  • Lee Harvey Oswald published his manifesto as a series of zines; his only subscriber was the FBI.
  • All of the documents in the file were created using something called a “typewriter.”

To play, post your own answers on Twitter to @pasquinade with the hashtag #JFKFileSurprises, comment on the post on our Facebook page, or comment here. I encourage you, as well, to share this post freely. The more folks playing, the more there is to enjoy.

If you have an idea for a future list, send it to us at, along with at least three list items for each list submitted. Maybe you’ll see your list in a future installment or even in the digital pages of National Pasquinade.


Since running this last Sunday, we received some great tweets. Thanks to everyone who played.

  • Oswald acted alone…when he portrayed John Wilkes Booth in an off-off Broadway one man play. (@caldmurchfield)
  • J. Edgar Hoover ordered JFK’s assassination after he beat him in a drag competition at a local nightclub. (@ToomeyWright)
  • The magic bullet was endorsed by Chris Angel. (@DocDarnell)
  • Col. Mustard did it in the conservatory with a candlestick. (@UtilityInfieldr)
  • “The grassy knoll” was JFK’s nickname for Marilyn Monroe’s beaver. (@jfredrick99)
  • Thousands of unsolved ciphers written by Ted Cruz’s dad. (@Juicedog23)
  • A second shooter was in the sewer, but the Ninja Turtles foiled his plans. (@wbllostsoul)
  • Was preparing to retire from politics to manage The Beatles. (@GenXtremist)
  • Oswald not thrilled with all the attention after all. (@simonjdickie)
  • Oswald ran up an embarrassingly high tab at Ruby’s Carousel Club. Those old-school Dallas businessmen were kind of severe. (@StephanieTemo)
  • JFK not that into “Camelot” thing (@teamyasumura)
  • JFK wanted to start his presidency over after the Bay of Pigs fail so he changed his name to Jimmy Carter and moved to GA. (@PeterDeSilvey)
  • Keith Hernandez most certainly spat at Kramer and Newman, with help from Roger McDowell. (@jruggiero86)
  • I think the #JFKFiles will reveal that Billy Joel did it. When asked about it Billy said, “What else do I have to say?” (@slyarbrough)

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