Monthly Archives: December 2015

Listeria Week #8: Best of/Worst of 2015

Best of/Worst of 2015So it’s last call for 2015. Next week, we’ll be in a new year, making brand-new bad decisions. But today, like all the media does this week, we get to judge the best and worst of this year.

This week’s Listeria topic is the Best of/Worst of 2015. Just give us a Best of 2015 and a Worst of 2015 in one concise tweet. For example:

Best: Dr. Phil’s ratings; Worst: Dr. Phil’s audience.

Best State to Make a Living: Texas; Worst State to Live In: Texas.

Best Man: Larry; Worst Man: Larry’s boss, Sid.

To play, post your own on Twitter to @pasquinade with the hashtag #BestOfWorstOf2015, comment on the post on our Facebook page, or comment here. I encourage you, as well, to share this post freely. Previous weeks, listed below, are still open. The more folks playing the game, the more fun everyone has reading them. Then, surf the ‘net on the 31st until you slip quietly into a BuzzFeed Coma (it’s a thing), and enjoy the fun.

Remember, if you don’t want to play this week’s game, there are seven previous weeks of Listeria that are are still open to play. Maybe one of your posts will be featured in the next ebook issue of National Pasquinade.

Previous Weeks:

Week #7: Dirty Peanuts

Week #6: Christmas Creepy

Week #5: Turkey Bands

Week #4: Mock the Terrorists

Week #3: Things to Do With Your Extra Daylight Savings Hour

Week #2: Rejected Old Wives’ Tales

Week #1: New Fears That a 2017-20 Republican Presidency Would Bring

 

A Thousand and One Thank Yous

I’ve been on Twitter for a long time. The 140-character limit adapted well to my preference for short-form humor so, for me, it was a better fit than Facebook.

This week, I hit the 1,000-follower milestone. I’m so thankful for the amazing people choosing to pay attention to @pasquinade, hoping for that occasional flash of brilliance in the form of a clever one-liner (odds are that it could happen soon).

So, thank you. Tell your friends about @pasquinade and maybe next week I can post about hitting the 2,000-follower mark. More likely, it’ll be some silly #hashtag war, but we are all dreamers, are we not?

Listeria Week #7: Dirty Peanuts

Listeria007_DirtyPeanuts

Today marks the fiftieth anniversary of the premiere of A Charlie Brown Christmas. So, naturally, all the main characters have grown up and talk like “wah-wah wah-wah-wah…” Right? While the long-running holiday classic will always portray the Peanuts kids in their youthful innocence, in this week’s Listeria we envision a cast of Peanuts characters who have grown up and enjoyed many sexual exploits (or in some cases, maybe not… good grief!) and maybe gained one or two weird fetishes.

So this week’s Listeria topic is Dirty Peanuts (and do not, I repeat, DO NOT look that up in the Urban Dictionary). Just dirty up a Peanuts character. For example:

Marcie is now a lesbian porn star that goes by the name “Peppermint Panties”

Dominatrix Lucy still charges five cents per consultation

Linus will not leave his New York apartment unless he’s wearing chiffon

To play, post your own on Twitter to @pasquinade with the hashtag #DirtyPeanuts, comment on the post on our Facebook page, or comment here. I encourage you, as well, to share this post freely. Previous weeks, listed below, are still open. The more folks playing the game, the more fun everyone has reading them. Then, just make a crapload of toast and popcorn, let a few friends invite themselves over, and enjoy the fun.

Maybe one of your posts will be featured in the next ebook issue of National Pasquinade.

Previous Weeks:

Week #6: Christmas Creepy

Week #5: Turkey Bands

Week #4: Mock the Terrorists

Week #3: Things to Do With Your Extra Daylight Savings Hour

Week #2: Rejected Old Wives’ Tales

Week #1: New Fears That a 2017-20 Republican Presidency Would Bring

Listeria Week #6: Christmas Creepy

#XmasCreepy

It’s December and we all know what that means! It seems like the Christmas decorations come out earlier and earlier every year. I’m sure everyone still had their Halloween decorations displayed this time last year, right?

So, to celebrate “Christmas Creep,” this week’s Listeria topic is Christmas Creepy. Tell us your about the creepiest Christmas imagery your funny mind can dream up. For example:

Ernie the Seven-Fingered Cash4Gold Elf

Cigar Store Santa

Rudolph the Shit-Faced Reindeer

To play, post your own on Twitter to @pasquinade with the hashtag #XmasCreepy, comment on the post on our Facebook page, or comment here. I encourage you, as well, to share this post freely. Previous weeks, listed below, are still open. The more folks playing the game, the more fun everyone has reading them. Then, just kick back with some spiked egg nog, don your ugliest Christmas sweater, and enjoy the fun.

Maybe one of your posts will be featured in the next ebook issue of National Pasquinade.

Previous Weeks:

Week #5: Turkey Bands

Week #4: Mock the Terrorists

Week #3: Things to Do With Your Extra Daylight Savings Hour

Week #2: Rejected Old Wives’ Tales

Week #1: New Fears That a 2017-20 Republican Presidency Would Bring