“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”
— Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)
In an ongoing attempt to jump-start your attempt to pen something uproariously funny, or at the very least amusing, here’s another jolt of inspiration for you creative types to use as you will.
Humor Writing Prompt #3: Inspired by, and in the fine and longstanding tradition (well, since 1982) of, The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, write, type, or word-process the opening sentence to your future self’s bestselling novel, any genre; this glorious sentence should contain, at the very least, fifty words, should contain no more than one semicolon, and unlike this run-on atrocity, should be funny on some level and convey something similar to a plot.
Share your results, or a link to your results if they’re longer, in the comments, if you feel so compelled. Happy writing.
Issue 76, the Make America Grate Again #, is now available for download.
It’s not a particularly lengthy issue, but what it lacks in quantity, it makes up for in quality.
It is currently available as a mobi file for Kindle users, as an epub for other e-readers, and as a PDF for everyone else. More details can be found on the Downloads page.
This installment of Listeria was submitted by the Midnight Tree Bandit. He lives in Maine. Maine has already seen a great deal of snow this season. When huge amounts of snow fall, schools will close and students get to stay home; employers will sometimes grant their employees a day off from work. The above has been stated to give some context to this installment of Listeria to hashtaggers playing in Florida.
How to Spend a Snow Day
- Build a snow effigy of Donald Trump and hit it with a flamethrower, screaming “This is the best meltdown ever! No body melts down like me!”
- Figure out how to make a snow devil
- Add stunt ramps to the local snowmobile trails
To play, post your own answers on Twitter to @pasquinade with the hashtag #SnowDayActivities, comment on the post on our Facebook page, or comment here. I encourage you, as well, to share this post freely. The more folks playing, the more there is to enjoy.