Monthly Archives: May 2017

Listeria #19: Things James Comey Has Written in His Notebook

Listeria No. 19: Comey's NotebookIt was recently revealed that former FBI director James Comey took extensive notes on everything, including his meetings with Donald Trump. This installment of Listeria wonders what Comey’s other musings might be.

Things James Comey Has Written in His Notebook

  • That Gilmore Girls reunion on NetFlix? Really sweet. Even after binging it for the fifth time.
  • Trump knows about the aliens. No, scratch that, he just talking about the Mexicans again.
  • WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF… (repeats for three and a half pages).

To play, post your own answers on Twitter to @pasquinade with the hashtag #StuffComeyWrote, comment on the post on our Facebook page, or comment here. I encourage you, as well, to share this post freely. The more folks playing, the more there is to enjoy.

If you have an idea for a future list, send it to us at submissions@nationalpasquinade.com, along with at least three list items for each list submitted. Maybe you’ll see your list in a future installment or even in the digital pages of National Pasquinade.


Update: Here are some additional examples, posted earlier today.

  • Having read his Twitter feed, I have to ponder the depths of Trump’s handwritten journal. Are they just doodles of penises?
  • Ow!!! Writer’s Cramp!!! Damn it, why did I just write that?! I really need to stop writing this down! Oh my god, the pain!
  • Then Donald grabbed my crotch as he looked me in the eye and, in his bedroom voice, said “Comey, Comey, Comey.”
  • I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And, goshdarnit, people like me.
  • Dear Diary: Another day, another wedgie. If it’s the last thing I do, those rich orange-faced bastards will pay.
  • The president said he wanted to start paying my salary in bitcoin, so I walked out of his office. Next thing I know…
  • Never will I gorge myself on Taco Bell the night before testifying before Congress. Not good!
  • I know the Colonel’s secret recipe, but I can’t even tell the president. #BurdensOfAnFBIDirector
  • I want to help Mulder and Scully get to the truth, but Gorak the Orange-Haired has threatened to disintegrate my family.

Muselist No. 78: Fake #

Muselist LogoMusic has always come hand-in-hand with putting together each issue of the National Pasquinade, inspiring the content and creation. Hell, “muse” is even part of the word!

What follows here are some tunes to inspire myself and the other writers and artists during the creation of the upcoming Fake #. Maybe they’ll also inspire you to create and submit your own comic masterpiece. Submissions can be emailed to us at submissions@nationalpasquinade.com. Please read through our Submissions page, and devour a recent issue or two, before submitting, so that you have some idea of what we’re looking for.

If you’d like to listen on Spotify, I’ve created a playlist just for you (note that all of the songs listed below may not be available on Spotify).

  • “Little Lies” (Fleetwood Mac)
  • “Miserable Liar” (The Pale Stars)
  • “Best Imitation of Myself” (Ben Folds Five)
  • “Fake Plastic Trees” (Radiohead)
  • “Phony” (Stereo Twins)
  • “Counterfeit Halo” (Sara Haze)
  • “The Pretender” (Jackson Browne)
  • “The Royal Scam” (Steely Dan)
  • “Artificial Rhonda” (Frank Zappa)
  • “Pseudo-Intellectual” (Redd Kross)
  • “Your Cheatin’ Heart” (Patsy Cline)
  • “The Card Cheat” (The Clash)
  • “Fraud” (Jonathan Coulton)
  • “Lies of Summer” (Aimee Mann)
  • “You Can’t Judge a Book By Its Cover” (Bo Diddley)
  • “I’m the Urban Spaceman” (Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band)
  • “Hang On Mike” (The Candy Butchers)
  • “Illusions In G Major” (Electric Light Orchestra)
  • “Give Me Some Truth” (John Lennon)
  • “Time to Pretend” (MGMT)
  • “Little Lie” (The Rosenbergs)
  • “Mr. Roboto” (Styx)
  • “Not What It Appears” (The Tories)
  • “Liar’s Club” (Vanilla)
  • “Lies” (The Knickerbockers)