It was recently revealed that former FBI director James Comey took extensive notes on everything, including his meetings with Donald Trump. This installment of Listeria wonders what Comey’s other musings might be.
Things James Comey Has Written in His Notebook
- That Gilmore Girls reunion on NetFlix? Really sweet. Even after binging it for the fifth time.
- Trump knows about the aliens. No, scratch that, he just talking about the Mexicans again.
- WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF… (repeats for three and a half pages).
To play, post your own answers on Twitter to @pasquinade with the hashtag #StuffComeyWrote, comment on the post on our Facebook page, or comment here. I encourage you, as well, to share this post freely. The more folks playing, the more there is to enjoy.
If you have an idea for a future list, send it to us at email@example.com, along with at least three list items for each list submitted. Maybe you’ll see your list in a future installment or even in the digital pages of National Pasquinade.
Update: Here are some additional examples, posted earlier today.
- Having read his Twitter feed, I have to ponder the depths of Trump’s handwritten journal. Are they just doodles of penises?
- Ow!!! Writer’s Cramp!!! Damn it, why did I just write that?! I really need to stop writing this down! Oh my god, the pain!
- Then Donald grabbed my crotch as he looked me in the eye and, in his bedroom voice, said “Comey, Comey, Comey.”
- I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And, goshdarnit, people like me.
- Dear Diary: Another day, another wedgie. If it’s the last thing I do, those rich orange-faced bastards will pay.
- The president said he wanted to start paying my salary in bitcoin, so I walked out of his office. Next thing I know…
- Never will I gorge myself on Taco Bell the night before testifying before Congress. Not good!
- I know the Colonel’s secret recipe, but I can’t even tell the president. #BurdensOfAnFBIDirector
- I want to help Mulder and Scully get to the truth, but Gorak the Orange-Haired has threatened to disintegrate my family.