I live in a small town. When I came into town last week after work, it looked like the population had doubled overnight. Seemingly hundreds of teenagers walking around the town, faces glued to their smartphones, oblivious to anything outside of the slice of reality, augmented and otherwise, showing on their little palm-sized displays.
These kids need to be careful out there. And National Pasquinade’s Listeria is here to help.
This week, we offer up some tips to keep you safe while playing the game that two months from now will be about as fashionable as Trump juggling pet rocks while spinning a hula hoop. Play along on Facebook and Twitter and, when you skid into a group of Pokemon Go players that have wandered into your lane of traffic, steer into the skid.
Pokemon Go Safety Tips
- When the police pull you over for reckless driving, toss your cellphone under the car seat, then shotgun an emergency can of Pabst to distract the officer.
- Remember: None of this Pokemon stuff is real. As far as you know, none of it is real.
- Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Duck (Seriously, duck!)
To play, post your own safety tips on Twitter to @pasquinade with the hashtag #PokemonGoSafetyTips, comment on the post on our Facebook page, or comment here. I encourage you, as well, to share this post freely. The more folks playing, the more there is to enjoy.